i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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