I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
