I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
