I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize