Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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