3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
