i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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