it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
