I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
