Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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