Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
