How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
