Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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