Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
