my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
