i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize