im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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