how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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