I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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