Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
