So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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