Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize