His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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