Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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