Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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