God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
