i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
