We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
if i died would you start the facebook group?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
