all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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