"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
