I am in a vortex of obligation.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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