Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just had sex on a roof
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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