Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
