I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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