I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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