I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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