That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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