just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
