It's like God shit irony all over that family
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
