Are we in a gay sports bar?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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