i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
