Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
