i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
