Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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