every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
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You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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