I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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