Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize