I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
