Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
