Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
