I'm really into asian looking animals
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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