I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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