So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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