You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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