First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
