We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
