we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
