I can text with my tongue
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
