I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
