Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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