fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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