I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
